Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
