I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
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