you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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