oh god the rape fog is back!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
