party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
