I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
