There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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