why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
