ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize