we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
