Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
