I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
