you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
