vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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