let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
