In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
