Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
