whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
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Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
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Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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