i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
