I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
