You made me cry and you don't even care
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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