I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
