That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
