well you can't waste a boner
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What a dumb baby whore.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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