You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
that's an acceptable place to lick
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Randomize
