a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
