Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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