This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
