he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
3pm strippers are depressing
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My bed smells like the plague
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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