Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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