why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I smell like Dick and happiness
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