I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
