i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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