So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
