kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
