How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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