I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
