My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
organizing the empties. That sober.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
