At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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