i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
