we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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