I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
birth control should be required to get into college
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
