Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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