Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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