hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Randomize
