Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Semen is not good for contacts.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
