know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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