how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize