Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I will pee on everything he values.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
