tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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