hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
How did I end up in the pool?!
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
how does that bad decision feel?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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