my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How does one acquire holy water?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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