: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize