Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
