I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
