My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
