Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
