how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
