For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
