good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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