it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Randomize
