My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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